Dealing With Friends Who Are Bad With Money

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Friends who are bad with money. Either they splurge too much, save too little, or have a YOLO mindset when it comes to their finances. They need help.

I recently got done having a binge of the second season of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Awesome show with just the right level of wackiness and humor. I also watched the 1994 Winona Ryder film Reality Bites along with a new indie film called Temps. 

All great stuff that had topics related to starting a new life, finding one’s goals, quarter life crisis frenzy and in some way involved the every golden topic of money.

Back in March, before I departed to Thailand, I sat at a friend’s apartment and discussed all the things I was budgeting for when I arrived in Thailand.

Me: I’m just worried about the various unexpected expenses I will encounter. What does your monthly budget look like? 

Friend: *confused stare* I don’t have a budget. I mean, I save money but I don’t look over my expenses or anything.

Me: *stares in confusion for an undetermined amount of time*

Everyone has tales of being around people who are bad with money, myself included. While there certainly are people who are badddd with money, many people just aren’t good with their money.

[tweetthis]Many millennials have the basic “saving is important” mindset down, but not much else[/tweetthis]

Let’s go through an anecdote. One of my friends has been working at her current company for nearly five years. A year ago she went full-time with them. Being a full-time employee, she got a slew of benefits: health insurance, paid time off, and a 401k with 4% match.

Want to take a guess whether she signed up for the 401k or not?

She didn’t.

I had another friend who had a severe misunderstanding of what “treat yo self” meant when it came to splurges and shrugged it off by saying she put money into her savings account every month, so all was good. No, no, all is not good.

How do you help friends who are bad with money? How do you help them set money goals and understand concepts like 401k’s, IRA’s, Index funds, and more without boring them?

Don’t offer advice unless asked

This is the biggest thing I have realized when it comes to dealing with friends who are bad with money. Being a young twenty-something (I’m 21), I want to to tell them all the things when it comes to practicing money management in your twenties (which, let’s be honest, isn’t a whole lot since I’m learning myself).

You want so bad to help them, to sit them down and explain the basic concepts of compound interest, the magic power of a 401k and IRA, and developing a solid emergency fund.

You shouldn’t do any of this though, unless they ask you (whether directly or implied) for help. Only friends who solicit advice are the ones who actually want to get better with money.

Talk about your money experience

People constantly want to see how something relates to them. How they can apply something to their life.

Whenever I talk about my money experiences (both good and bad), is when my friends relate the most to it and start wanting to get better in their own lives.

Back in university, I talked with a friend about the small, but growing emergency fund I had and how I was glad I had it when it when a few unexpected car repairs came up. I discussed how I was able to save while on working a low-wage job (something she was also going through).

Often times, I found I most often had a “money breakthrough” with a friend when I discussed a personal anecdote.

Like many things in life, becoming better takes practice. Money, whatever way in comes in (being debt free, making a higher salary, etc.) isn’t the goal. It’s all about making it work for you!

How do you deal with friends who are bad with money? What ways can you help them? 

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Colin // RebelwithaPlan

Colin Ashby is the writer behind Rebel with a Plan, a website dedicated to people who choose to rebel against the norm of living in debt and feeling financially unenlightened. He believes everyone has an eccentric quality to embrace and that lattes are sometimes a necessity (despite what the personal finance community tells you).

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